I want to study..!!!

Well well the headline says it all.I want to study and do well in "o"level get a fantastic grade to get into the course of my choice.DIPLOMA IN TOURISM AND RESORT MANAGEMENT IN SINGAPORE POLY.I checked the entry requirement and expected maths was needed.Oh god and as many people know i suck at that subject totally.So today i asked my dinosaur and source of income if i can get a tution teacher and she replied yes.Though its a yes but a unwilling yes.She said maybe you should go for group tution and i said i rather study on my own then go group tution as i'm dumb and i can't catch up with the speed of other students.I have tried that before and i know.So she replied me saying "you are still as lousy and i don't see any improvment in your studies either when you have private tution last year".This is so hurting man..i know i'm dumb as she will always scold.What she have never thought is that how can you expect a F9 student for so many years to get A1.Aint you asking to much and its like wanting me jump up from hell right into heaven.Can you believe as a parent without supporting your child you are scolding her dumb and useless.If you were the child how will you feel?It makes me feel like i'm good for nothing and she does not know how much sacrifices i have made to get it into sec 5.I gave up my love..basketball,i go out less often..i study like mad.All these are things that she will always take for granted that all childrens will do.So what if i get into sec 5 and score like 5 points which i feel is aready the best i can ever score.She glance at it just for a few minutes and handed me back the paper.I aready don't expect praising even if i do well in exams because i do this all for myself and no one else even if i don't get any presents or praise in return like my brother often got i feel proud of myself because this is Fenellin limit and her effort.Oh i'm getting so depress for the lack of support from my parents.I feel like a a dumb idiot and also thoughts of ITE flash across my mind.Should i give up and go there,its the easiest way out she does not need to pay for my tution i do not have to get so depress for this lack of support.Should i?I regretted not studying hard in many primary school days and now i'm repending i want to make a change i don't want history to repeat.I understand that maybe you people will think that maybe she has her reasons for doing that.Financial problems maybe?I'm not that unreasonable i did though of that before and i accepted it for a while.Untill she bought a laptop for my brother and let him use it to play games.I remember last year went i approached her for money she will always glance at me and say"why so fast pay,you know very expensive anot".Hey hey buying a laptop cost alot of money you know and i'm like asking for 300 bucks only compare to that $30000 over laptop.Pure biase!I hate it..!

What should i do for now?I told siti before don't go to ITE because its aint easy getting to sec 5 and right now giving up is dumb.However right now i'm thinking about going there myself?Haha what a joke.She's good at maths and i'm not.I want to study but...i lack support.