Trust me when I say I am doing my up most best to just write what I am about to, as I hear the sounds of the “tick-tacking” keyboard sounds and the clicking of my mouse and also the many ‘sighs’ that seems to keep overpowering my brains of thoughts.As 6th feburary approaches my stress and burden is about to come to an end.The burden of playing well,stress coping between studies and trainings has been a strain for me.Emotionaly i'm drain,physically i don't think i am even 50% fit.Yet yesterday Mr Imran spoke about taking part in another tournament thats call "The Loser Pool".Its actually a very sacastic tournament name for me,loser pool and yes its for all the losing team in south zone to take part.I was stunned by that sudden question and next i heard some of them saying ok i will play.I was thinking in my mind that if we were to play and we lose in the loser pool,won't it be like the loser of all losers!Its such a huge disgrace for me personally as a player if we were to lose,the name of queenstown basketball will be turnished even more.Certainly without a doubt if we were to lose i will quit playing basketball right away without thinking.Its an insult to a basketballer being the greates loser of all.However the problem is are we all prepare for it?I'm not discouraging or saying that the girls can't make it without me,what i want to empahise is that if we continue to use this sort of sloppy attitidue we won't make it.Certainly and for sure,proably the team can communicate better without me in the team and i agree because i seems to have a gap between them,a barrier that both partie failed to overcome.

As i mention earlier that proably after the south zone i will bid the competive basketball life in my secondary school life goodbye.I will still go for training but i don't think i will play in any tournaments further because i don't want it to affect my "O leve"l.Maybe some of them in the team don't understand my decison or feel that i'm trying to slack or be lazy by choosing not to play.I can't stop them from thinking what they think of me but my conscious is clear and i just hope they respect my decisions."I TOOK GREAT PAINS TO EVEN COME BACK TO SEC 5,I MUST DO WELL IN "O LEVEL"!I do have my own burden and stress from parents as well,i know so do you all but to me 5 years in queenstown is aready enough i don't wan to repeat again.I can tell you all very frankly that i'm aready struggling with o level life in Jan.Its a huge jump from N level to O level.For a normal acadmic student this jump aint easy at all.

Basketball use to be mine everthing,i remember writing every page of my journal about basketball.Probaly Mr Lim might be sick of reading my journal with every page mentioning basketball.Haha!Every single essay will be some how link to basketball and alot more.Maybe you will think that i'm still writing about basketball so often in blog but seriously i can tell you that i have cut down writing alot about basketball.My ambiton a year back was to be a basketballer but as i grew older.I think more practically about my future,its similar for all those in singapore that are thinking of pursuing basketball as a career.We are some how deny due to the society,the cultural and mindset.Thoughts of becoming a national basketballer and getting the Singapore jersey is every basketballers dream.However that will only be a "IF""if things were so good,if i were so talent,if i were to be recurited and if i can play in the team.If you ask any parent in singapore most will like their children to be doctors,lawyers,bussiness man and all those high paying jobs.Only a minority will say let the child decided,asian parents are very protective of their kids.Thats the good and also the bad point of them,we don't like kids taking risk because we are afraid they will fall and get injured.While western parents are more open minded,they let the kids decided what they want in life and don't lend a helping hand even if their kids fail in certain part of their life.Yet they encourage their kids to get up on their own and carry on their journey.Its a painful way of learning but also thats how you learn not to fall again.

I'm born in a asian family and from young i can say that i have be pampered and live a comfortable life.I'm not really rich but thats enough for me.If you were to ever ask me to leave my comfort zone in exchange for a harsh life i will certainly suffer for sure.Therefore i can't escape from this asian mindset cultivated from young thats"i don't like taking risk".I prefer something stable and maybe thats why i choose to give up basketball as well,i must accept the fact that i might not succeded while pursuing a basketballer dream and at the end i will end up with no certs and no where to go.I can't take the risk,i'm not prepared for it.Therefore i choose to give up my dream and passion in exchange for a stable life.