Is 4 in the freaking goodness damn morning and here I am blogging away? *Slaps head* what in the world is wrong with me?

LATE NIGHTS EARLY MORNINGS ARE GETTING TO MY HEAD.ITS BEEN HAPPENING FOR THE PAST WEEKS!SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!ITS SO FREAKING CRAZY!

Its just like having your routine turn upside down,while everyone is resting and in their sweety dream land i will be awake.In the morning when everyone is getting ready for work i will be sleeping away till the night.This damn routine have been happening for this few weeks!I'm really sick and tired of it,its a bad habit but how can i overcome it?Can anykind souls give me some advise to kick this bad habit.Its not that i don't wants to sleep but its just that i can't!!!I'm dying to voice it out to my parents but do they really care in fact?Doubts starting to appear as i don't wants them to worry for me either.Grrh...maybe i should consult a doctor real soon...hell it!

I told my maid about it and she feel that its because i'm to stress up with whats going to happen on dec 18.Yes i admit it has been one of the reason as i live in constant fear for the past days.The pressure is pondering as the date gets nearer.Sigh!However when she asked i denyed and replied her in a very cold way.Making it seems that i don't care about what my results will be like.My pride forbids me to admit it.Its always the same old story for me,pretending to be cool,cold hearted and calm.I remember when my grandmother died i pretend to be so damn calm and cool to be able to deal with the situation.In fact deep inside i was struggling so hard to cope with the fact of the departure of my beloved grandmother.Same for any basketball tournaments failer.
I treat losing a basketball tournamnets very seriosuly.Though i always say that never mind since we are use to losing aready.Another failer does not matter,however what you don't know is the sort of nasty and upset feeling is double of what my teamates are feeling.I am the captain and i know i should shoulder the blame for it.I remember during those days losing was a nightmare for me.I got to emphaise that i may not be a good captain before but i know i had done the best within my limits.

Alright back to topic,my maid replied" skola exam fail kamu tidak pergi mati arh"!It means if you fail your school exams don't commit sucide.I replied"aku tidak gila pergi mati la"!Forgive me for my poor malay spelling.What i am trying to say from it is i'm not crazy to commit sucide.I condemn the act of sucide to resolve problems,its a cowards behavious,a inresponsible person's act.Chossing to die may relieve your pain and problems but ever spare a thought for your love's one feeling.The pain they are going to endure is twice as much as the one who dies.

I'm sure no ones wish seening their love ones living in misery everyday just because of a person's silly behaviour. Its a stupid stupid act!

I really don't how i will react like if i fail but what i can assure is that i'm not going even think of choosing to die
to end my problem.



Theres a myth saying folding 1000 cranes and your wish will come true.However i am only left with 4 cranes pictures.Will my wish come true even with 4?